Day Six: iDunno What 2 Call It

The morning after...

I woke up with JJ in my arms, Steward back on the chairs, and H. Joe & Jacques in the other bed still.

I loved waking up like that to be honest...

I'm developing a summer crush, I realize while writing this. I've never really been on vacation by myself (without family) so I HAD the opportunity to this time and it never occurred to me that it WOULD happen. I just came to have fun but feelings are unpredictable...

He turned around JJ: "good morning sexy" why did I just melt when he said that? He kissed me... butterflies. A kiss that tasted like "I want it all". I looked him in his eye and he fell back asleep.

The first bitch to woke up was Jacques his loud ass woke up everyone and we showered and talked and stalled and when we got down to the pool it was 9.20am! Jacques was like "what time is it? 12 or summin right?" We were like nooo its 9.20. "Why the fuck are we down here so early!" You woke up so damn early...

Me H. JJ and Jacques were down sunbathing and having some fun And Jacques and I were talking while laying on the beach and JJ and H. Were in the water. We were talking about the fact that JJ was acting extra in front of H. With me. Complicated story but I was not to blame but I said I wanted to be more aware of the situation and all was fine.

I have the biggest hickeys in the history of my life!!! Jacques and JJ messed up my neck real good! It wasn’t even funny how nasty it looked it’s all purple going from left to right. I just walked around with it because the only way to cover it was gonna be make up because it was all around my neck.

Steward left in the morning with Sir to go change the car they rented in fort Lauderdale so I was alone with his friends. I didn’t mind because it seems they enjoyed my company and I really was just one of them. We went up to the hotel after a short while to shower again so we could get something to eat. Steward and Sir came back in between all of that and when they went to eat me and Steward went back to my hotel and stopped at McDonalds on the way.

Steward was actin a lil distant on the way to the bus, during the bus and until far later when we came back to the hotel and he had his nap. He probably I was carrying on too much with JJ. I figured that out right after he told me LOL.

Anyways friends of mines from the Hometown arrived in Florida today and they were at south beach having drinks. So I went in the shower to get ready to go and meet them. While I was in there I could hear Steward call this male hotline for black guys. I thought to myself is this how far we have to go to get laid these days. Leaving horny messages for a million anonymous guys, picked out between a million others and end up disappointed? Personally the furthest I’ve gone and will go is a dating/hook-up website (BGC, Adam, etc).

I came out of the shower and it appeared that he hooked US up? I was like what? No thanks! I aint tryna get it on with some random nigga you met off the phone, I can’t take! So I was getting ready to go and meet my friends and I asked Steward to come with me, and I even offered him to come with but he said he had no money for bus fare.

The guy knocked on the door… I was not surprised to see what revealed itself on the other side. This 5.11ft kinda thickish fat guy with lower gold teeth, scruffy, lil hillbilly nigga. I forgot his name and ill forget his whole existence after I post this blog! I was so angry at Steward but I didn’t show it. What happened that made me even angrier is that Steward didn’t like him! So the guy started touching me up! Uhm hello no thank you I'm going. Steward was making stupid excuses to go in the bathroom so he wouldn’t have to deal with him and he was calling his friends. So he left me in the room with the guy I was like sorry I dunno what my friends up to but I was like I'm sorry but I am not attracted to you and I don’t think my friend either so am asking you nicely to leave again. ofcourse he complained and got a lil angry but I just kicked him out.

Me and Steward had a lil argument because I told him to tell me if he didn’t like the guy so I could get rid of him instead of actin weird and going to the bathroom and tellin him to wait. Anyways he came with me to south beach to meet me friends from Amsterdam. I was so happy to talk my own language with people I knew.

The main friend I knew was let’s call him Buff was there with his friends let’s call them the Runner and Dumplings. Buff is a 5.10 black guy that has a muscular torso and a big ass but when naked you notice it’s just well proportioned meat. He is strong though don’t get me wrong. He’s shaved bold is cute in the face but is in his 30’s. Then you have the Runner. He has an athletic build body with a nice chest but not too big though and he is a baldy too lil less cute then Buff but he has a lil more personality though they’re best friends. And then there’s Dumplings. He is asian but really cute! And apparently Buff’s BOYFRIEND! Me and buff go way back and yes we used to mess around so it as insanely crazy for me to meet up with them and have his boyfriend round there too, right?

So we go to a liquor store and continue the party in the hotel room. After a short while Steward left to get someone from the airport. I gave him the room key and told him ill meet up with him tomorrow. So me and Dumplings are laying on the bed and we just talking. He said that he knew about me and Buff and I told him that I didn’t know he was in a relationship. He never said it and I asked him if he didn’t mind me being here and all. He said nah its fine Buff told me himself what happened and were adults I got over it. Okok so then I talk to Buff and he again says that Dumplings thinks I'm cute! When he said that I knew tonight was gonna be Madness. Oh Boi!

I was drunk from the liquor and when someone dropped the word Jacuzzi I was like why aren’t we in there yet! I took Dumplings and jumped in and the Runner joined us and Buff didn’t came in though. After 10 minutes everyone turned horny. And we had a foursome.

After that me, Buff and Dumplings slept in 1 bed and the runner in the other bed. But I snore so Dumplings left to sleep in the Runners bed. So me after a short nap/sleep Buff starts to get horny and makes a lil noise and starts touching, Dumplings heard it and came back to our bed and then we had a threesome…

I couldn’t take this I needed sleep after that I slept with the Runner… but after a lil while he got hard and started rubbin up against me, so I thought yeah sure why not let’s go. Me and the Runner had a one on one.

Sleep was useless at this point, because 1. I was so exhausted that I couldn’t go back to sleep, 2. It was 8am, 3. They had to check out their room before 11.

I didn’t know what to think about this day

Day Five: Temptation Island

This day is going down in history as the craziest day ever of all vacations I've ever been on.

First of all I had the best sleep in that crappy ass hotel and I just got a shape up which Is making my whole facebook trip! So me and Steward went walking on the beach until his friends arrived. We went to see them at the hotel and they were in the pool and of course as an outsider coming into a new group it would take me some time to integrate.

First impressions, they were all so CUTE! Omg!

First we have let's call him Jacques he has the sides of his hair trimmed and has a lil curly Mohawk (a hairstyle I considered having) he is dark skinned slim and so funny.

2nd was let's call him Yellow, he has the cutest face, athletic body, a typical boy next door American boy voice, and he short like 5,9ft.

Third was let's call him JJ. From the start I was like madly attracted to him. He 6ft, light skinned, has this kind of thuggish raw thing bout him but he doesn't act like one though, big lips and droopy eyes.

4th was let's call him Sir. He a short dark chocolate dude, big ass big lips droopy eyes and he so nice. He's the one that like the courtiest of them all.

Fifth was let's call him H. He Haitian and dark as Sir, he real slim and is real nice 2.

6th was let's call her Natalie. She's like the fag hag LMAO she dark like Sir and H. And she so much fun too she really reminds me of someone but I can't remember...

That was all of them till later in the night till this other dude came but that's for tomorrow.

After some poolside chillin we went upstairs and then back down for a smoke and get some liquor. Me and H. Were talking and we was being real friendly and stuff and then he told me he was in a relationship with Jacques. And then he said Sir and JJ was in a relationship too! I was like damn!!! Ugh!

So while we were waiting on the others we just kept talking and later I found out that when the others came they were gonna be a few days single for the sizzle...

Personally I'm not a fan of having breaks in relationships or having an open relationship even if it’s for a short period of time. That shit does not work but in this case I'm not on the short end of the stick.

So after we got some liquor we went back to the hotel and got mashed up! Well I did and some of the others. In that drunken moment we all decided to go skinny dipping on the beach behind the hotel. We all jumped in the water and it was fun they made a lot of pictures while we were in the water (haven't seen them yet) it was so crazy we were making pyramids and stuff. And then JJ comes up to me and tells me he can't come out of the water because his dick is hard!

At first I didn't notice why he was tellin me that? I was being naïve to the whole situation.

So after the skinny dippin me Steward, JJ, and Jacques walk do south beach DRUNK AS HELL! We were being loud talking to random people on the street, kissing eachother in public! BUT THEN... We walked up to the beach @ night! So me and JJ start kissing like crazy!!! And Jacques and Steward getting at it too. And in the meanwhile JJ be telling me that I'm sexy and that he wants to do all kinda things to me.

Then things start to get FREAKY JJ goes and lays on a stretcher and Steward is giving him head?! I was like omg! Me and Jacques were going at it and touching JJ in the meanwhile and that kept going for a few minutes. When we finished we laughed it off but JJ came up to me and said I was imagining you giving me head back then...

We arrived at the hotel and met up with H. We decided to go skinny dipping in the pool but JJ was all over me! And Steward and Jacques were being like guurr you being messy calm down! Because apparently they didn't wanna do stuff infront of H. Because they thought if JJ getting hands on with Tonii then Jacques must be 2. So they told me and I kept my distance a lil bit from him because I started to notice that when he gets drunk he gets too extra.

So later we go back up to the hotel and I decide to take a shower to get rid of the chlorine from the pool and JJ gets in the shower with me and start dry (well wet actually) humping me. I'm not gonna lie I enjoyed it then Steward came and said 1 of you better come out because ur boyfriend is coming upstairs right now! I got out the shower and just went into a bed.

The new guy came let's call him Joe. He slept in the bed with Jacques cuz like me he didn't know anyone and H. Joined them. In the other bed it was me and JJ so I was already afraid he was gonna try something while the others were in the room (Not that I didn't want him to LOL) so I asked Steward like why aint u coming in the bed with us? He was like naah I'm fine in the 2 chairs...

After some rubbing and touching from JJ and some stolen kisses, Steward hopped in the bed with his face at the foot side though at the end of the bed and me and JJ were in the middle & right side. We were just talking away and away and he started to fall asleep. After 15 minutes of talking we all decided to go to bed. But JJ was still kinda awake so he tried to kiss me and was backing up to me so hard I almost kicked Steward out of the bed! He didn't wake up though... Later we started touching each other while everyone was asleep and he just started touching me so I did I t back but he was getting so excited and moaning so loud I had to put my hand over his mouth like nigga be quiet! He got so excited again he was wiggling too much in the bed that Steward woke up and went back to sleep in the chairs. I just told JJ u know what let's leave this for some other time...

Day Three & Four: Me Time

Hey everyone

I moved to a new hotel. I wish I didn’t because this one is a hotel but 10x shabbier than the MOTEL I was staying in before OMG I just can’t take! The inet connection is just a mess half of the time. The room is small the bed is small the bathroom is small the toilet is dirty but at least I have a phone now (not that I use it).

Anyways the saddest thing ever happened when checking into the new hotel. This nice black lady was helping me but she had some trouble with the credit card that was used to make the booking so we tried to figure it out but nada. So she asked this bum guy Charles (who was coincidentally sittin there) to bring me to the ATM and back. He was a nice guy from Louisiana that moved from there for family reasons i thought it be rude to ask him what exactly.

so we came back to the hotel and the lady that was helping me started crying all of a sudden while she was helping me... through her crying I made out that her granddaughter (yes she said granddaughter and she looked damn young too) drank bleach :o. I was shocked. So she was walking around hysterical and all her colleagues’ came down to console here and tell her she could go to the hospital.

I went to my room after that scene and kinda stayed in my room for the duration of the day. I only went out to get something to eat and I watched movies all night and took naps in between. The next day I did almost the same but I slept in till real late and later Steward came and we went to this little mall that was behind the hotel. We walked through it and ate this lil restaurant called chili’s

The view was so nice overlooking a marina (pictures will be updated later due to slow inet connection). We walked a lil after that in the area. Anyone reading this would be thinking that Steward’s into me but I don’t think so we just friends. Cuz if you think of it almost any situation we in is either romantic or reminds me of being in a relationship. We went back to the hotel and that was it.

A lil update on the bestie Nige’s situation. It turns out that the caseworker at the embassy was playing him. She made a grave error in interviewing him and enquiring the required documents which she tried to cover up by saying that she and her “boss” Ms. Cole were doin the best they could to get him on e new flight ASAP. Turns out that there is no Ms. Cole! She made her up in order to get more time to BUY a ticket so she wouldn’t have to report this to her REAL boss. He found out and he fired her! Now they really working on trying to get him here.

Day One & Two: Say Hello To My Little Friend

before i went to bed i met someon online that said that was gonna be in my neigborhood and would like to chill tomorrow and show me around miami! so i woke uo kinda excited but a lil scared too cuz you know how those things go sometimes...

Lets Call him Steward, he 19 just 4 motnhs younger than me, Loves aviation, and traveling. so we had a lot to talk about.

so i met him on the way to the beach and he has been so nice to me so far!!! he showed me around miami beach, the strip, and the beach itself, we had something to eat, i bought a few stuff and we walked on the beach and we talked and whatever.

I told ya'll that my bestie Nige was having some trouble with getting his flight re-booked by the embassy well it turned out he couldnt fly today so i was and still am getting more and more panicked!

he noticing that i didnt expect nigel not to be here by now and suggested to stay over (that was a pick up line) i let him stay with me in the motel. notting really happened but then again how we were chillin today i felt more of a friendly then a sexual connection.

I always said I wanted to live in miami but while i was walking on the beach with my feet in the water while i was looking at the moon i thought, this is not me...
i could feel it. it doesnt feel like home like amsterdam and london feel. i could see myself coming on vacation here but living no... and that's whats a lil bittersweet about this whole vacation.

the second day i went to Hallover park/beach aka the nude beach! i was really really really doubting if i shouldve gone naked or not but last minute i thought to myself you know what you only live once and how often are you gonna be in miami?! i got nude ran skipped through some people and dived into to sea and got out with a halle berry in james bond kinda entrance but naked. LMAO so after a lil 5 minutes i realized the water was saltier than washing your mouth with a brick of salt! i got out with a horrible taste in my mouth and it so did not fit in the image i had for my first dive into the sea! i thought it was gonna be sweet water ugh! (not that i was drinking it though :S)

after staring at a few hotties, relocating and and talking to this guy that approached me saying that im hot we went back to ocean blvd? we ate summin at this lil restaurant and then we went into a cvs pharmacy. i asked Steward like ok so what are you getting? he was like an enema you know a bitch gotta get ready for the sizzle! i was laughing my ass off!!! he asked me "how do you ya'll do it over there you guys dont have enema's, how expansive are they?" im like you cant by enema's at pharmacy's over here. we got those things you buy in sex shops to douche and stuff. he's like okok well we got those here and they only a dollar or something. i was like whoa!!!! but that paled in comparison to the aisle it was in, grown up diapers & laxatives. omg!!!

well i bought 1 just for the heck of it. i mean it was just a dollar something so after that i stepped out the shopwith my enema and a sprite in a plastic see through bag. i thought I AM NOT FLAUNTING THIS! i tried to put it in my bag and while i was struggling with it this guy stared at my bag then looked at me and started smiling. i was looking at him like are you hittin on me? then i just left him and got the enema in my backpack.

ok so we was sittin at the busstop and i started smoking but i notticed the guy was still staring at me! then this ghetto ass nigga !!!! asked me for a cig but it was my last but when i told him that he asked me "to break him off some". ugh nice as i am i just gave him the rest of it. then the guy started knocking on the window of the busstop and told me to come talk to him....

me and steward were looking at eachother like should we? so we went and asked to see what he was about. (he was like 5.11ft, spanish, bold, begin 30's, he was wearing b-ball shorts and a jersey, he was kinda thick and muscled and did not speak a word english) i understand a lil spanish and Steward better than me. basicly he invited us to come and have a drink over at his...

saved by the bus. im sorry thats our bus we gotta go maybe next time. and then he said in spanish he'll be here at 6 same time tomorrow, right... like im gonna be there! while we was sittin in the bus Steward was like he did say he lived on Washington that means he got money! i was like i would do him if he had money or not but i just didnt get a good vibe off of him. he was like "yeah me too"

but i do wonder what it wouldve been like.

Day Zero: Welcome to Miami!

so i finally made it to MIAMI!!! i cant explain how hard ive wanted to come to miami from the age of 15 ive said that i wanted to live in miami. but now that im here im having second thoughts... but before we go into that lets start at the beginning...

so because of icelands ashcload my flight got re-routed to germany, duesseldorf international to be exact. through some genius thinking by my bestie Nige we found a way to get in germany in time to catch out flight. We had some problems finding a way to get to germany because you guys know i live in amsterdam, the netherlands right? and getting to germany at 7am is almost impossible! there were no trains that ran that early, no busses and nobody was able to drive us so short noticed. here's the solution:

We had to go to nijmegen, catch a shuttle to Weeze airport at 3.20am, from there take a cab to the trainstation, from the station to Duesseldorf HBF which takes an hour and 10 minutes and from there take another train to the airport which takes 12 minutes. so the plan was the travel all night to be there in the morning!

plans change...
through some mistake made by the american embassy in london my bestie Nige couldnt get his visa sorted in time which came to the conclusion that he was gonna fly to miami later and i was gonna have to make this trip alone in the middle of the night and be in amerika by my self! but the most important fact of all of this is i dont like to do things alone.

i was hyperventilating at the thought alone but Nige reasured me everything was gonna be alright... after a deep sigh i embarked on this journey alone against my will, with this bittersweet feeling.

The shuttlebus to Weeze Airport was alright but i stood in the cold waiting on a bus that didnt come so i decided to take a taxi to the station. what airport in the world doesnt have taxi's available at all times? well apparently Weeze because i waited like 30 minutes for a Taxi which made me miss a train which meant i had to wait a 30 minutes for the next one to duesseldorf. the train was full of ugly people accept one german guy that was kinda cute in his face but pales in comparison when i arrived in Atlanta! but thats for later.


i arrived at the airport after taking the train to the airport i had to take a skyrail (second pic) to arrive at the terminal (first pic) it's pretty light and open. it fellt like a dream till this big scary german woman started asking and bullying me with answers at the check in. i was expecting after customs to be HUGE and with a lot of restaurants to eat, the works and stuff but it was a dissappointing mess! there were 3 restaurants non at which i wanted to eat and only a newsstand, a designer stand, and the perfume choclate and cigarette tax-free stations.

FINALLY! in the plane i got a comfy seat in a delta plane and i had notting to complain except bouth the food!!!!!! OMG!!!!!! I SWEAR!! no meal in my entire life has me me want to run to the toilet! it was some chicken and potato blablabla. ugh i almost died!!!!! i started to get dizzy like i was gonna faint and my stomach was just beating me up!!!! i coudlnt take it no mo. i just went to the toilet and went for it... i felt ashamed coming out of that toilet. nobody gave me mind but i still cared. i didnt eat anything for the rest of the flight. they tried to come at me with pizza and icescream, i thought are u really tryna kill me?

I arrived in atlanta after a 10 hour flight! the trip seemed long and short at the same time, because i was able to take 3 naps in there watch 3 movies and an episode of the office US. customs was ok i had no problems going through it but DAMN!!!! i was lookin left right top bottom behind me, HOTNESS!!!!!! everywhere! HOTHOTHOT. i was bbm-ing Nige lord have mercy im not gonna be able to catch my flight to miami if somebody doesnt throw some uglyness in the room! i checked my bag in again at flight connection and there were these 2 guys eager to take it. they asked where u going? thats kool i wish i could come withcha. i thought they was straight but i kept looking them up and down till i was out of sight and they didnt seem to mind at all.

so after a short 2 hour flight or something (i lost total track of time). I arrived in miami! and i was smiling all the way untill the hotel! ya heard me UNTILL i reached the hotel *correction* MOTEL. it was a lil shabbier than was shown online... and when i went to check in it seemes as if the price doubled! so i was arguing with these people but couldnt really prove enough because i didnt have my itinerary and all with me because Nige's cousin arranged everything (she works at a travel agent) and nige wasnt with me yet so i couldnt do nottin! i just said you know what ill just pay for 2-3 nights till he comes so we can sort this out.

that was my first panic attack! i arrived at the room and it was ok... i went to this lil stripmall i saw round the corner to get me a travelcharger and why doesn nobody speak frikking english! i was like do you have travelchargers here? ¿inglés?, other shop ¿inglés?, 3rd shop ¿inglés? u was like no, no habla español *sigh* and i just went and looked for the damn thing myself. i found it eventually. after that i went to wendy's and had me a first american meal! i was so bent out of shape that i didnt even get to finish my fries and my drink but i sure as hell wanst gonna let my double baconator go to waste.

i went to bed at 12 or 1am and woke up this morning 7 am for no reason...

Blogetry: "Timber"

I stood there tall and proud
The only tree in a desert of love
Till you came lonely nomad
Walking up the dunes Playing the mandolin
Melody sounding like tingeling
Moving my leaves To the whispers of the wind
Making my petals dance
In an hypnotic state of trance

Under me you took shelter from the sun
The sun who also dried you up on your journey
u used my elixir to replenish
Sucked me dry until I was finished
You left me to wither and die
All that's left of me that screams through the desert is my love cry

Before you leave your caressing me
Whispering how much you needed me
Thanking me, looking at me, leaving me
I'm thanking you unwillingly for killing me
I didn't know this wasn't love
I didn't know this was abuse
Couldn't see right or wrong in ur excuse
With ease You chopped me down
Away with the deserts Crown
I was too late to realize
Skydiving into my demise
While falling I'm imagining this to be a Dream
but he brought me to reality with his Scream
"TIIIIIIMMMMBEEEERRRRRRR!!!"