Day 13: I Miss You

Throughout the whole trip I've been bbm-ing with jay the whole time. To be honest I really miss his company! He makes me feel good and I like to please him and make him feel good too. The thing with Jay is I'm kinda his first everything. So I feel honoured that of all the black guys in Amsterdam he picked me to fall in love with. Lemme tell you the story of how we met.

While I was with my ex Jupiter, he send me a message on Hyves (a dutch social network comparable to myspace/facebook). The message said nothing much, till after a few messages later he told me that he liked me only after I asked him why he messaged me in the first place. He said he liked me and wanted to go to the movies with me this one time but I told him yeah we can do that BUT I did tell him like we CAN'T do ANYTHING because I'm in a relationship and he was fine with it. I know it was wrong for me to go on a date with someone but I didn't see the harm in it, I got to go to the movies, and I got to make someone happy.

On the date I got to meet him in real life for the first time and he was cute, but I had myself in control. We talked about a lot of stuff and we clicked. We went to a chick flick you can't imagine, we knew because we were the only two guys in the cinema watching that movie LOL. So after it was done I brought him to his bus stop and waved him goodbye. That was it...

I thought about him and the date for a few days but I never let it go too far. I forgot about him and just went on with my life, we never talked after that and I deleted my account on Hyves.

After me and Jupiter broke up a few weeks after, like 2 or 3 months later, facebook asked me is this a friend of yours? And showed me his picture... I was like yeah I know this boy so I added him. Nothing happened for the next couple of days after he accepted me but after I saw a status update from him I decided to message him because I did like the date we went on almost 2 year ago now.

Me: "Hey how you doin? Haven't spoken to you in a long time do you still remember me?"

Jay: "Ofcourse I still remember you and yeah that day is still in my mind I don't know if you wanna do something again?"

Me: "definitely, especially since I've been single for a while. So what do you wanna do?"

Jay: "Yeah we can go to a movie again if you want? Or do summin else"

Me: "You know what let's do a movie but at yours because last time we met in public so we couldn't really talk some real talk."

Jay: "I'm kool with that if you bring the movies"

And that kinda how we started it off and I saw him ona day I can't remember anymore and we walked to his place and when we came in the first thing he told me: "You're wearing the same perfume you wore the first time I met you, I'm still in love with it..." I was so in shock that he still remembered it and kinda flattering. So we watched a movie which was utterbullshit but owh well. After the movie was done we were watching tv and he was saying: "there's nothing on tv, I wish I had cable so we could watch something better, I wanna have something else to do." So I completely turned towards him and I kissed him.

The KISS WHOA! It was a kiss to fall in love with. It was soooo slow it didn't even fell like a kiss more just like a flow with a spark in it. Then I pulled back and said: "now you have something else to do" and he said "What" and I said: "kiss me ofcourse!" And we kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed. Clothes flew off and next thing we were naked and the most embarrassing thing happened I'm not going to go in detail but it ended up with him saying that he doesn't take dick nor give it because he has never done it before and wanted to save it for someone special. And I was like whoa... I felt so ashamed for trying to push up on him so strong without even asking him... So I laid down beside him and we just kissed like that until I had to leave.


And since that day I saw him the week after and then 2 times the week after that and then I started seeing him everyday and now I'm accustomed to having him around all the time.

When I told him I was going london for 2 weeks he started missing me already and the puppydogg eyes he gave me almost made me feel bad for booking the trip :(
I miss the hell out of him and he out of me.

I'm gonna ask him to be my boyfriend when I get back cuz Up until now its been great! The sleepovers, and the cooking for each other, and meeting each others friends and all of that. But its been just a month and I don't jump into relationships especially since I came out of the relationship with Jupiter in April. So its a lil early even though I do want it and it feels good and its the right person, I just wanna feel at ease with my decision first. I don't wanna have the feeling I jumped into anything.

Its kinda hard to not say yes to him or wait that long since he's already told me I have his heart no matter what happends and that he'd give up his virginity to me. I was like whoa are you sure and yes he was apparently.

But enough with the mushy stuff now how did my day go, its sunday so I went to church and I felt sick to be honest but after I showered and got dressed took a tablet or 2 I felt strong enough to handle it. Today a visiting Bishop got to preach to us and OMG almost half of the women in the church fell to the ground during the last part of the service :o I was like whoa HOLY SPIRIT OVERDOSE! And they were brought to the alter and like a big chunk of the seats were empty. I was happy my mum didn't really participate in this one though.

After that I thought we went home but we went into brixton because it was the first sunday of august and that means BIG PARTY which I was so not feeling at the moment because I fell asleep in the car!

Now I'm with my grannie, my moms, and some guy named Jobi in an old peoples pub "Chillin" (the Prince Of Wales). I thought to myself gimme some Malibu and my BlackBerry and ill Survive! I might not have Internet but ill blog till we go home or till I get food and now my mom just left to go get some Jerk chicken so ill be a happy camper in a second.

Day 12: "What To Do"

The illness like totally ruined my whole damn london trip. I stayed in for almost a whole week with nottin interesting to blog. So this morning I decided to go out and do summin!

I called my auntie and asked her if she wanted to go cinema like we always do when I'm in london. She said yes and agreed to go inception in the Odeon Theatre in Streatham.

I went to the shop down the road and got me some cigarettes and smoke since I've been deprived from them for almost a week now. It felt so amazin sittin on my moms porch/stone wall and lighting one. I know its a disgusting habit but I don't care. Me and marlboro are good friends. I didn't like what they did with the pack though, on the back they got a pic of a guy with a Tumour the size of a football in his neck. DISGUSTING!

So now I'm sitting on the steps of the theatre waiting on my auntie/cousin to take me cinema and she is LATE while she told me not to be! One of my petpeeve's has to be peeople who make me wait! Ugh! The movie start 8.40pm and its already 8.42 see I don't mind missing the commercials but if we like 15 min late I don't wanna go anymore. And then my day would totally be ruined!!! Because that would mean I still did absolutely nottin...

As I give up on my aunt this guy walks past in glittery 4inch pumps, I feel like shouting WORK! But I'm not in America anymore which kinda makes me miss it

A call from my mom she says my cousin got stuck at the house and is on her way...like I still care...I'm getting cold I want a drink. Thank god for cigarettes to keep me warm. I don't even care if she finds out I smoke now. So I'm playing the waiting game again...

Lol it turned out the clock in her house was set wrong so she thought she was on time. Ugh anywho instead of seeying inception we saw "the A-Team" because that was the only movie still showing. Going to the movies with her is always funny because she's a very jumpy person and at gunshots and special effects she always shouts swear words, jamaican ones ofcourse. So I have/had fun with her even though the movie wasn't worth the money she payed for it but I wasn't tripping because I didn't pay and she was late!

She brought me home and I thanked her for the movie and went to bed after some time on facebook and twitter.

Day 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 & 11: "Throughout The Sickness"

Once again I'm in church, now its sunday service And I'm sooo annoyed and getting a headache of this guy that's shouting in tongues through the microfoon! Rantalabababa!!!!! Rantalaba!!!! Anko!!! FIRE FIRE FIRE! Ugh...

I'm tired from the trip "Northampton - London" still just a lil woozy from the vodka and now have to deal with this...

Church wasn't that interesting today except for that my mom went to the altar and layed on the floor because she felt the holy spirit... I was so embarrassed even though it was just the choir singin and the service didn't actually start but still ugh

When church was over I felt this feeling I get whenever I'm about to be sick. And I actually got sick... I took some tablets before going to bed and woke up a lil better.

The day was so boring I was waiting to hear from a friend I learned to know through my london Lover so we could meet and FUCK. LOL yeah I said it FUCK!

Hahaha when it was time to meet him I was so horny all the damn way to his house BUT it was so dissappointing... First of all I came in 15 minutes but that's no problem cuz I keep going LOL but after 20 minutes he was distracted the whole time and he said he was starting to feel sore... And the fun ends here.

So I though. He went into the livingroom to go and feed his cat but the cat had babies and he still had 1 kitten and he came in the room, jumped on the bed and started to jump around me! IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!! So I was playing with the cat totally forgot the dude untill he came back.

I left after a lil 15 minutes.

I then went to my London Lover to sleep over again and that's kinda it.

I went home the next day and felt sick till friday saturday mornin...