Day 13: I Miss You

Throughout the whole trip I've been bbm-ing with jay the whole time. To be honest I really miss his company! He makes me feel good and I like to please him and make him feel good too. The thing with Jay is I'm kinda his first everything. So I feel honoured that of all the black guys in Amsterdam he picked me to fall in love with. Lemme tell you the story of how we met.

While I was with my ex Jupiter, he send me a message on Hyves (a dutch social network comparable to myspace/facebook). The message said nothing much, till after a few messages later he told me that he liked me only after I asked him why he messaged me in the first place. He said he liked me and wanted to go to the movies with me this one time but I told him yeah we can do that BUT I did tell him like we CAN'T do ANYTHING because I'm in a relationship and he was fine with it. I know it was wrong for me to go on a date with someone but I didn't see the harm in it, I got to go to the movies, and I got to make someone happy.

On the date I got to meet him in real life for the first time and he was cute, but I had myself in control. We talked about a lot of stuff and we clicked. We went to a chick flick you can't imagine, we knew because we were the only two guys in the cinema watching that movie LOL. So after it was done I brought him to his bus stop and waved him goodbye. That was it...

I thought about him and the date for a few days but I never let it go too far. I forgot about him and just went on with my life, we never talked after that and I deleted my account on Hyves.

After me and Jupiter broke up a few weeks after, like 2 or 3 months later, facebook asked me is this a friend of yours? And showed me his picture... I was like yeah I know this boy so I added him. Nothing happened for the next couple of days after he accepted me but after I saw a status update from him I decided to message him because I did like the date we went on almost 2 year ago now.

Me: "Hey how you doin? Haven't spoken to you in a long time do you still remember me?"

Jay: "Ofcourse I still remember you and yeah that day is still in my mind I don't know if you wanna do something again?"

Me: "definitely, especially since I've been single for a while. So what do you wanna do?"

Jay: "Yeah we can go to a movie again if you want? Or do summin else"

Me: "You know what let's do a movie but at yours because last time we met in public so we couldn't really talk some real talk."

Jay: "I'm kool with that if you bring the movies"

And that kinda how we started it off and I saw him ona day I can't remember anymore and we walked to his place and when we came in the first thing he told me: "You're wearing the same perfume you wore the first time I met you, I'm still in love with it..." I was so in shock that he still remembered it and kinda flattering. So we watched a movie which was utterbullshit but owh well. After the movie was done we were watching tv and he was saying: "there's nothing on tv, I wish I had cable so we could watch something better, I wanna have something else to do." So I completely turned towards him and I kissed him.

The KISS WHOA! It was a kiss to fall in love with. It was soooo slow it didn't even fell like a kiss more just like a flow with a spark in it. Then I pulled back and said: "now you have something else to do" and he said "What" and I said: "kiss me ofcourse!" And we kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed. Clothes flew off and next thing we were naked and the most embarrassing thing happened I'm not going to go in detail but it ended up with him saying that he doesn't take dick nor give it because he has never done it before and wanted to save it for someone special. And I was like whoa... I felt so ashamed for trying to push up on him so strong without even asking him... So I laid down beside him and we just kissed like that until I had to leave.


And since that day I saw him the week after and then 2 times the week after that and then I started seeing him everyday and now I'm accustomed to having him around all the time.

When I told him I was going london for 2 weeks he started missing me already and the puppydogg eyes he gave me almost made me feel bad for booking the trip :(
I miss the hell out of him and he out of me.

I'm gonna ask him to be my boyfriend when I get back cuz Up until now its been great! The sleepovers, and the cooking for each other, and meeting each others friends and all of that. But its been just a month and I don't jump into relationships especially since I came out of the relationship with Jupiter in April. So its a lil early even though I do want it and it feels good and its the right person, I just wanna feel at ease with my decision first. I don't wanna have the feeling I jumped into anything.

Its kinda hard to not say yes to him or wait that long since he's already told me I have his heart no matter what happends and that he'd give up his virginity to me. I was like whoa are you sure and yes he was apparently.

But enough with the mushy stuff now how did my day go, its sunday so I went to church and I felt sick to be honest but after I showered and got dressed took a tablet or 2 I felt strong enough to handle it. Today a visiting Bishop got to preach to us and OMG almost half of the women in the church fell to the ground during the last part of the service :o I was like whoa HOLY SPIRIT OVERDOSE! And they were brought to the alter and like a big chunk of the seats were empty. I was happy my mum didn't really participate in this one though.

After that I thought we went home but we went into brixton because it was the first sunday of august and that means BIG PARTY which I was so not feeling at the moment because I fell asleep in the car!

Now I'm with my grannie, my moms, and some guy named Jobi in an old peoples pub "Chillin" (the Prince Of Wales). I thought to myself gimme some Malibu and my BlackBerry and ill Survive! I might not have Internet but ill blog till we go home or till I get food and now my mom just left to go get some Jerk chicken so ill be a happy camper in a second.